- they’re watching.
- Flush twice. Make it three times. Don’t leave them anything to work with.
- They will tell you the bathroom is only for employees. This is a trick to get you to quickly agree to enlist. I recommend going before getting there so you can make your decision with a clear mind. Kind of like not going grocery shopping when you are hungry.
- Depending on the branch of service you are considering, there are different techniques you’ll need to follow. Go to the library and get the free literature there that will explain how and when pooping is expected in the Armed Forces. Can’t find it? Talk to the librarian, that’s what they’re there for.
- Looking to become a part of the Special Forces? You’ll need to learn the art of stealth pooping. I’d tell you about it here, but it’s classified, so I’d have to... I don’t need to finish that do I?
- Most importantly, put your shoes back on.