You’ll need a CB handle before you enter, so make sure you think of one that you like and can live with for the rest of your life, because you can’t change it. Don’t make the same mistake I did in 1997, and go with something like Tweetybird. I mean I’m way more a Taz guy now.
Truck stops are weird retail paradises where you can find electronics that don’t exist in the real world anymore, like portable DVD players. Which means you can have a nice screening of the Left Behind movies in the third stall from the door.
Kirk Cameron’s voice is at its most reverberant when projected from a late model Sylvania 7 inch portable DVD player, held between your legs at about 18 inches from the floor and tilted slightly toward the toilet. It’s the way it was meant to heard.
The Left Behind magazine that you find in some truck stops, has NOTHING to do with the Bible. However, it does make for interesting “reading” while in the bathroom.
All truckers adhere to a strict set of laws regarding the use of the bathroom. If you are found to violate those laws, you will be reported to the Trucker King. The Trucker King has the authority to grant or deny your entry to special rest stops on the highway called “Weigh Stations”. These “Weigh Stations” are disguised to the normal passerby, but contain a paradise within. One can only hope that you will one day be granted access to the “Weigh Station” by the “Trucker King”. All Hail.
Do not eat the roller foods that you find at the truck stop while pooping at the truck stop, this is considered rude and the real truckers will report you to the Trucker King. If you need to eat while pooping, the proper food is a chili dog.
