- Always use the lavatory in first class. Even if you aren’t sitting in 1st class. Especially, if you aren’t.
- place your feet on the door once you sit down. Added security and a plus to the alignment of your bowels.
- Are you a shy pooper? Tell the Flight Attendant, they’ll sing softly outside to soothe your nerves.
- Not so timid? Scream at your loudest volume, “I’m poopin’ in here” with a New Yorker accent. Everyone appreciates honesty.
- When leaving the lavatory and there’s someone waiting when you open the door? Make complete and meaningful eye contact. Tell them, “it was like that before you used it.”
- don’t forget to put your shoes back on.