Tips for pooping at your favorite coffee shop bathroom

  • having trouble going? Order three shots of espresso. Drink them. Wait. 
  • If Starbucks is your favorite coffee shop, you’re wrong. However, you’ll probably need to get the key from the barista first. I recommend talking to Jane. Jane, likes you best. 
  • Do you have a crush on the barista and don’t want them to know that you’re going to poop in their bathroom? Get over it, everybody poops. Also, the barista doesn’t care. 
  • If you do poop at your favorite coffee shop, you can’t go back. 
  • Remember to put your shoes back on.