- that water that’s on the floor? That’s for everyone to enjoy, don’t be stingy.
- always choose the stall closest to the exit. Just like the Boy Scouts, you should “Be Prepared” too.
- if there’s a line for the stalls strike up a conversation with anyone wearing headphones. Wearing headphones in the bathroom is the international signal that you want to talk to strangers about inane and superficial topics while trying to hold “it” in.
- if you can find a bathroom that’s “closed for cleaning”, you’ve just hit the jackpot. They won’t tell you this but, “closed for cleaning” really means, this is the special bathroom we keep for only those “in the know”. Go in. Do your business. It’s ok.
- is there a TSA agent guarding the door to your bathroom? Alert! That’s not a bathroom. Contact your lawyer.
- urinals are not for pooping. There just isn’t enough privacy.
- always remember to put your shoes back on.