- IT IS your room, so just be naked. Naked pooping is the best.
- before sitting down locate the toilet paper. The housekeepers hide it. It's a game they like to play with you.
- while doing your business, during daytime hours, it is customary, to scream loudly, "I'm Poopin' In here!" every 30 seconds. So that the Housekeeping Staff doesn't inadvertently walk in on you to clean your room.
- most hotel rooms a have a full length mirror directly opposite the bathroom, so that when you are sitting on the toilet with the door open you can look directly back into your own eyes and contemplate the emptiness and darkness that is your lonely existence. Remember to leave the door open, cause it's your hotel room, no one else cares.
- Put you shoes back on before you leave.