Tips for pooping in a Best Buy bathroom:

  • as the bathroom is usually next to the car stereo installation garage, shouting “Vrooom vrooom!” Loudly is not only encouraged, but expected. 
  • locking the stall door is imperative. However not always possible. If the lock is inoperable shut the stall door with excess toilet paper and make groaning noises to ward off intruders. 
  • if you find that you have to go while shopping and you’ve got merchandise, they’ll tell you that can’t bring into the bathroom with you. That’s for sanitary reasons, as long as you wash the merchandise in the sink before you leave the bathroom you’re fine. 
  • if the bathroom isn’t clean, you should pull the cleaning schedule sheet off the door and walk up to every employee you can find, hold it up to them and yell, “SHAME” into their face. This is your duty. No pun intended. 
  • put your shoes back on